Quem já não sonhou com aquele tórrido momento em que o mais lindo dos homens (escolham o ator por quem mais sentem tesão) joga aquela mulher linda e maravilhosa sobre a cama e faz tudo com que ela sonhou? E, no final, ainda diz aquela frase inverossímil: eu te amo.

Uau!!!

Certo, agora desce desse lugar que os filmes inventaram para excitar nossa fantasia e vamos para a nossa realidade. A vida como ela é. Realidade, essa coisinha insuportável que nos coloca nessa nossa vidinha sem muito charme. Pluft! Sim!

Quantas de nós sonhamos com o (qual é o teu? É o Clive Owen, para mim, mas serve o Vincent Cassel também – lembra um primo, [risos]) nosso ator preferido? Sim, mas, gente, a irrealidade do sexo no cinema é de morrer de rir.

Vamos lá, quando o cara pega a mulher e faz aquela cena que se vê em nove dentre dez filmes:

– ele segura a mulher no colo;
– ela abraça o corpo dele com as pernas;
– e eles fazem sexo de encontro à parede;
– e mais, eles gozam!!!

Mais de mil homens que eu conheço não conseguem carregar uma caixinha de Serramalte, quanto mais manter o seu equipamento em modo ereto, beijar a moça, dizer frases incríveis!

E, cá pra nós, eu cairia de rir em dois segundos.

Ah, e outra coisa, na maioria das cenas de sexo, o homem introduz seu membro viril (hahahaha) e fica num vaivém sem fim.

O corpo da mulher não existe. Não tem boca, seio, nuca, bunda (sim para o vade-retro, apenas).

Ah, sim, corpos perfeitos! Nenhuma película baseada em fatos reais. O cara hipertenso, acima do peso, a mulher entre a máquina de lavar, a mamadeira do filho, a casa, a comida, ela mesma…

Sim, eu não viveria sem essas fantasias.

Aliás, cinema é a indústria mais importante que a humanidade inventou.

Viver sem, como?

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