Tira o preconceito do caminho. Vivi quer desfilar seu corpo do jeito que ele é

Por que o peso do gordo causa tanta curiosidade? A jornalista Viviane Schwäger, vocalista do bloco Maria do Bairro, fala sobre padrões e experiências.

 

 

“Você pergunta isso para pessoas magras?” Essa foi a resposta da jornalista porto-alegrense Viviane Schwäger, 40 anos, quando questionada sobre seu peso. “Por que o peso do gordo causa tanta curiosidade?” O que realmente importa para a comunicadora, apaixonada por música e teatro, é manter a saúde, ainda que em um corpo gordo. “De resto, levo a vida como qualquer pessoa: adoro cantar e dançar, faço exercícios, visto o que me dá vontade. Não me privo de nada – não mais, não por causa do meu tamanho”, afirma Vivi, como é conhecida pelos amigos.

Viviane diz ter encontrado o caminho pedregoso do amor próprio. “Não é um botão que a gente liga e pronto, apaga todos os traumas de uma vida inteira. Mas é uma construção bonita, que vale a pena”. Hoje, ela diz cuidar do corpo por amá-lo, não por odiá-lo. “Queria que tivesse acontecido antes, mas tudo a seu tempo”.

Quando começou a engordar, aos 11 anos, a família a obrigou a fazer dieta pela primeira vez. A partir daí, fez diversos tratamentos, tomou remédios, foi a nutricionistas, médicos, psicólogos, terapeutas, realizou lipo a pedido da família, que sempre fez o discurso de “preocupação com a saúde”, chegou a pensar em bariátrica. 

Me pergunto até que ponto eu não seria menos gorda se tivesse preservado minha saúde mental e não me submetido a tanta agressão”

“Quando pude desistir de tudo isso, passei a me alimentar com mais equilíbrio, sem radicalismos, mas de uma forma que mantivesse a saúde do meu corpo. Engordei, sim, mas recuperei a sanidade. Mantenho minha alimentação o mais saudável possível, mas não me furto a comer uma gostosura quando dá vontade”.

“Respeitem meu corpo”

Viviane diz não saber, nem se preocupar com o peso. “Prefiro me preocupar com números que realmente afetam a minha vida: o de pessoas gordas que não conseguem acessar o transporte público ou os serviços de saúde, o número de médicos que receitam emagrecimento até para dor de ouvido, o número de suicídios de adolescentes que não aguentam a pressão por não se encaixar em um padrão impossível”. 

Ela mesma já teve diversas experiências nesse sentido: “já tive que procurar outro lugar para fazer exame de imagem porque o equipamento disponível não comportava meu tamanho. Já tive que sair de brinquedo de parque de diversões porque não cabia no carrinho. Toda vez que assisto a algum show no Araújo Vianna, saio com hematomas nas coxas por causa dos braços das poltronas. Já fui abordada por completos estranhos que perguntaram ‘já pensou em fazer cirurgia?’. Já fui rejeitada em lojas, encontros, academias e inúmeras situações e pessoas que não aceitavam meu tamanho”.

Yoga Para Todos e Pop Plus ocupam a Paulista. Foto: Emanuela Santos

O mundo, segundo ela, é muito hostil com a pessoa gorda. Por isso é tão importante a representatividade que vemos hoje. Blogueiras, influencers, empresárias, modelos, atrizes, cantoras, bailarinas e atletas vêm ocupando lugares que sempre disseram que não pertencia à pessoa gorda e provando que esse julgamento sempre esteve completamente errado”, enfatiza.

Há ainda algo bastante frequente na vida das mulheres gordas, que é a fetichização. “É só publicar uma foto mais sensual em qualquer rede social que lá vêm os ‘papa-gorda’, como uma amiga definiu, mandando mensagem, querendo mais fotos, oferecendo sexo. A mulher gorda é frequentemente vista como objeto sexual, não como pessoa. O mais irônico é que esses homens, sim, sempre homens, jamais assumiriam uma mulher gorda em público como companheira. Isso é bem doente”.

Sobre o amor, ser gorda nunca foi um empecilho. “Já fui profundamente amada, já fui fragorosamente rejeitada, já tomei pé na bunda, já dei pé na bunda. Como qualquer pessoa. Acho que sim, tem muito preconceito com a aparência da pessoa gorda na hora de engatar um romance, mas quem realmente quiser estar comigo não vai se preocupar com isso”, declara.

Oi, amor próprio

Bullying sempre foi uma dor. Deixou e ainda deixa feridas. Mas com o passar dos anos, Viviane conseguiu fazer da autoestima seu escudo. “A gordofobia intrínseca até na família vai colocando pedras difíceis de tirar da bagagem emocional. Por volta dos 30 anos, cansei de não fazer mais as coisas que queria por vergonha. Cansei de passar calor, cansei de passar vontade. Foi aí que brotou a faísca do amor próprio. Ele nos leva tão longe…”

Apesar de já ter vivido diversos momentos de dificuldades, e preconceito, Viviane também tem relatos de empoderamento e acolhimento. Tudo isso graças à coragem que adquiriu ao longo do tempo e à aceitação de que peso é apenas um número.

Bloco na rua

“Dez anos atrás eu entrei no bloco Maria do Bairro, do carnaval de Porto Alegre, como vocalista. Em nenhum momento, nunca, nem por um segundo, questionaram meu peso ou minha aparência. O meu querido Zeca Brito, fundador do bloco, me chamou pela minha voz, e vejo essa clareza de julgamento ano após ano quando desço do trio e as pessoas vêm elogiar o meu canto. Com o tempo, fui criando coragem pra ousar mais nos looks: o deste ano foi só um maiô amarelo e um arranjo de cabeça!”, conta Vivi.

Ela conta que quando decidiu fazer pole dance, em 2017, foi extremamente bem recebida e acarinhada no Velvet Pole & Tease. “As professoras nunca duvidaram da minha capacidade – inclusive, acreditavam em mim mais do que eu mesma. Cheguei a saber de amigas gordas que tentaram fazer pole em outros lugares e as professoras tinham nojo de tocá-las”.

Outra grande transformação positiva tem a ver com a moda. “Quando eu era adolescente, ser vista saindo de uma loja de “tamanhos grandes” era uma vergonha. E as roupas eram muito feias. Me vi obrigada a aprender a costurar. Então, conheci a feira Pop Plus, em São Paulo, que é a maior feira de moda plus size da América Latina. Lá eu encontrei não só o que eu queria vestir, mas pela primeira vez na vida, me vi tendo que escolher”. Sobre padrões, ela é enfática: “Acho que todo mundo tem alguma beleza, e os padrões que se explodam”.

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